#writing-feedback

"Marketing is not about copying and applying tactics" 🙌🙌

I'm a marketer because of my obsession with psychology and sociology. So your piece resonated with me completely. I've always been fascinated by the fact that Edward Bernays, the father of public relations and by virtue modern marketing and branding, was heavily influenced by his uncle — aka Sigmund Freud.

@Ronnie Higgins thank you im so happy it resonated with you 😄 as a new writer i welcome any more feedback you can give me to improve, too

I don't see any problems with your grammar, sentence structure, or other line-level issues. If you really want to make this piece better, the best feedback I have is regarding the structure.

When I review and edit work, I start by reading the intro — does it provide a concrete thesis and promise enough value to keep reading? From there, I do what everyone else reading your piece will do, skim — do the headers connect to the thesis and articulate the information within each section? Next I'll move on to the flow of the entire piece — does each sentence lead into the next and is the information communicated clearly?

In doing this with your piece, I noticed some issues that would make take it from good to great.

Intro
• Feedback: Your words paint a vivid picture of problem. What's missing is your thesis of what marketers have forgotten and a segue promising to demonstrate why and provide strategies to improve their work.
• Suggestion: The thesis is already written, it's just nested under the second section. Just bring up the parts stating that marketers have forgotten that marketing is about persuasion. Then all you have to do is write a hook that segues into the rest.
Headers and sections
• Feedback: The "Marketing is not" headers really grabbed my attention and feel connected to the intro. Unfortunately, they don't match the content within them. The second section (copying and applying tactics) introduces the problem and solution (dismissing psychology) and the third (applying the best practices) discusses tactics.
• Suggestion: Consolidate these into a single section labels that's called something like "Why marketers can't see the forest for the trees" and use a bulleted list to summarize your "Marketing is not" statements. Then you reiterate that persuasion, not channels or tactics, are what matters most and segue into a section dedicated to psychology. The final section can then go into the practical application of psychology concepts.
If you end up incorporating any of this, throw it in a Google Doc and send it my way. I'll gladly provide some line editing for you.

Hi Ronnie this is so helpful thank you so much! I appreciate the time you’ve taken to help. Ill PM you the end result to see if you like it better :)